petek, 09. januar 2015

Changes are hard :(

there will be no drama.. don't worry! ;) One of my new years resolutions was to finally change my work relation and find a new job. I was complaining about it for so long, that I felt ashamed to even complain to other people, because I did nothing to change the situation - so I haven't had the right to complain. If there is something I believe in, is: If you're unhappy, just should change what you're doing. 

But since I was starting to cross "Find new job and leave" from my NY resolution list (which, btw, exist only in my head), I was feeling trapped..
I feel like I am so scared to make a change, just because I am so used to old experiences, that even though I had such a good interview, I don't feel the need to change the job anymore.. or at least not that much. 
I feel such comfort in my little bubble (even though I am not feeling good), that I don't want to leave. I know everything there, nothing can surprise me anymore, I know my work, my responsibilities, my boss' personality, ... 
It's really strange. 
And I know I need to jump! I am just afraid that next job will be too hard for me or too challenging for me to manage school and work and then I will have nothing. I am afraid that because there's going to be longer hours, I won't have any time for myself and social life. Just the thought makes me depressed. 

But I have to try! Can't complain anymore. Can't live in my comfort zone anymore. Maybe Year 2015 will be Year of changes.
It's really been an emotion rollercoaster this year and it's only day 9. :D

Did you feel something similar, when trying to have a change? Let me know I'm not the only weirdo here!


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